every night im gone

every night now I dream i'm somewhere else
in another city far away
or another version of the one right here
im not exactly sure
Im staying in hotel rooms in high rise buildings
on the 6th or 14th level
and the elevator is always unsafe
yet I never take the stairs
and im always trying to cross busy intersections
but never crossing at the traffic lights
I see people I know all the time
but they seem so far away and unfamiliar
and i'm always following, never leading
or trying to look for something
deep in an office complex or shopping centre
through tunnels and dark rooms
In a city I thought I knew so well
but everything has been altered and shifted
so now it is completely foreign
people are always so hostile
because I never really know where Im going
I catch trains to no particular location
because I never actually arrive
but I always wake up at the wrong time
just before I actually get there

brain dead

so nothing exciting has happened since school went back, just been getting up every morning and falling back into the old routine. Nothing at all has changed, nothing is new. School is exactly the same every day, with each day its subtle differences, but all these differences always the same ones reoccuring. I have done nothing productive, besides homework and daily routine tasks. There is nothing really to complain about, besides the usual bitching and moaning. The doldrums of my life has been reflected in the thrills of my dreams, each night having vivid and intense journeys, with complex urban landscapes, to beaches, to oceans and deserted islands, to strange figures, to alternate reality and versions of people I know, and even strange creatures. At least each night is exciting and unpredictable, when I could pretty much recite everything that will happen tomorrow. Motivation needs to come from within I guess, but when I look inside all I can find is the
same old burning questions, and no answers. Which makes me believe motivation needs to come from the outside world, but seeing as I cannot find it I am hoping it will come to me. But hope like that won't get me anywhere far. I guess im just stuck in the doldrums until high winds come

hardcoretwothousandandhate

Bradford's Sydney Wrap:

- A-MAZE-ING crew
- Cracking jokes at ungodly hours in the airport, eg; "Tom, don't you have a gun in your back pocket?"
- Myer hangz
- Burgerlicious
- Budzzz
- "Feels good man"
- Nipple sharing stories
- Eloise's Laguna Beach style mansion
- Alessandro "The Juggernaut" Coco
- Mosh parts
- Cornwell
- Feeling sorry for Clayton
- Jarrah spooning Coco
- "Is the new girl here? Is she hot?" *Motions sexual intercourse with hand*
- $50 cab rides.
Sheet!
- "GOOD MORNING!"

These are some of the memorable Highlights, but i'm going to put up some of my own

- Newtown - general vibe and sweet weather, way overpriced vintage stores, sweet record stores and fast food
- Bayview Boulevard - such a nice hotel, slept so comfortably in a nice neighborhood until we reached the hostel which was in dirty downtown, but the good times made up for bad sleep
- eating ridiculously unhealthily - oportos (so many in sydney downtown), ogala, subway, burgerlicious, large amounts of softdrink, smoking and drinking
- exploring the city and observing the massive sydney rush
- forming the a-maze-ing crew, sweet hangouts, lots of lols and good times, partying down, both the hardcore shows, poor sleep
- Jungle Fever, The Dead Walk, Extortion and Blacklisted ruling it and forcing me to mosh
- The Dead Walk playing New Direction - amazing
- Smoking the awful pipe in the sweet secret lane
- Hanging out with locals, meeting new people
- Leaving from a completely deserted Sydney airport
- living the dream, dtrying to live like a local, having a sweet time and digging Sydney

Will put up photos when Bradford tunes me up

Haven't updated for a while cos I was in Phillip Island. Looking back now that I am home it seems like a pretty big blur of rain, drugs and ruckus. Cooking the most ridiculous oily buttery meals and eating steadily all day, smoking steadily and drinking steadily. Going on adventures through the forest to the beach and back through the forest while it was raining just because it was grim and there was nobody around so we felt like explorers. Watching tv shows over and over, then playing monopoly in Afrikaans, then losing interest when it became a stalemate between Izaac and I then watching more tv. Constant rain, and gail force storm warning winds shaking the house and making us feel grateful we were indoors. Going out for a chronic spree then warming up infront of the heater. Copping attitude from eugene, then provoking him till he had a big hissy fit then making fun of him some more. Then bashing him, then everyone bashing everyone in an all out brawl which ends with no winner and everyone gasping for air and grinning. Talking amazing ammounts of shit and laughing so hard at things that no longer seem funny, but will always remain funny within the memory. Knowing there was no constraints, no responsibility and nothing to remember, just living for the essentials and the good times. Sleeping too much, and being a sloth. Having friends to replace the family. Photos coming soon