Infiltration

Confronted in the harshest possible way by outside forces hitting deep within

Meaning get lost in translation as they speed at break neck pace between two strongholds

Folding and folding until they fall in on themselves, pulling everything down with them

Mixed messages flow through wires and cause short circuiting where ever they meet a turn

Not possible to find a smooth flowing course, instead each impulse causes fault and fracture

Trying to uncover a solution by digging out the problem, the hole gets so deep it all falls apart

Hunting with fever for the answer, almost losing sight as if the path forward is not possible

No blood is shed but the problems are deeper than that, further than what can be touched

The surface is completely clean and the coast is clear, but tremors from below throw everything off course.

Time tries its best to sort everything out, but it knows only how to heal flesh wounds.

Rain

What am I going to say? I cannot form a syllable, the words cannot escape my mouth. I try to release them, but the pressure is keeping my jaw held shut, clamped closed. I can't handle the weight slowly pressing me into the ground, the earth flattened under my form. I push further and further, picking up sound waves bending my wavelength spreading me further until I can no longer be seen with the naked eye. Clothing and exterior belongings rip to shreds as they stretch. I'm left in my purest form, fitter and healthier now that I'm not solid. Stampeding hoards of lost souls pour down from the sky onto me, but I'm so thin they slip right through and into the underground. Subway cars take them where they want to go. I am left upon the surface as a layer between a plateau and two mountains. Spirits caught between rocks flail in the wind and try to signal to me, but my senses are broken up between too many places at once. They lose their faith and turn to dust and slowly fall onto me and the earth below. My minds eye wanders, it searches over plains and into valleys, beneath lakes and in tunnels. Mazes and wormholes, deep and black with no end. Bottomless pitfalls covered in the bodies of lost men, little specs amongst a sea of no light. It could be hell but without air or water or any elements it is difficult to determine existence. My minds eye keeps falling and never returns, the seas fall across the land and it rains for ten thousand split seconds and I'm completely soaked.

diving

I stand alone at the cliff top, looking over the edge which seems so soon, nearer than the horizon. I stand alone, a solitary figure in the midst of forest pouring down into the ocean. I hear the water falling down below me, the sound of anguish crashing upon rocks and eroding the earth. I can do nothing but stand, the excuse of my form existing enough to push me further, bending into nature as trees bend in the wind. The pressure of my body upon the surface of the cliff is enough to keep me standing, but it holds no weight whatsoever on any other part of the landscape. My motion fades out and becomes inconsequential as it moves further into the forest. There is no one else here, I stand alone in purity of existance, nothing more. Nothing more important beyond where my footstep lands and the air I exhale. Nature will absolve me in a way history could not. Every time I fall I don't make an imprint in the ground, only the ground makes a print in me. What I can see is only a small piece of what is actually here, only I cannot open my eyes wide enough. Not wide enough to take in the depth of the ocean which towers below me. Deep down where everything is so plain to see. I bend further and further over the edge until the wind begins to submerge my body in the water below. I no longer have a presence upon the land, as I sink deeper and deeper into weightlessness.  The deafening sound of silence underwater bursts my ear drums and they float outwards beyond the horizon. I need not for them now, there is nothing to hear below besides the echoes of thoughts throughout my head. Even those begin to sound softer and less important, as what once held truth on the surface seems to no longer have consequence. I fall even deeper but it seems I am no longer falling. Light can no longer penetrate the depths which I have reached. I am rising closer and closer to the bottom of everything. Beyond the edge of human form, there lies nothing in the horizon. Only the present form.

anything

Its so windy, windy enough to topple buildings or loosen vices, winds so strong the uproot trees and ill felt foundations. It blows nearly everything away except I stant still in the middle and feel it blow right through me. Wind coming from every direction, sweeping everything close to the edge. losing the distance bewtween what we can and cant touch. This brewing storm is only background music amongst deafening silence, as I fail to see that this is only the eye; the shape of whats to come. The sun is blocked out by the clouds, whose freedom is on shakier ground than my own, who try and warn me. I don't notice, I see it pointless to fight something so huge, when the Earth on which I stand is so uncertain. The future is lost in the horizon which I strain to see, but is hidden beyond the sea of debris which continues to slide. Solid form begins to flow as freely as liquid. The only thing left still is my own complacency, braving the storm better than a thousand sailors. rain falls down from the empty sky, droplets thick and cold which roll off me and get swept into the distance, each one taking with it a fragment of my skin, picking away at my form until only my skeleton stands strong. these pieces I lose are not crucial, they are only parts of my thin outer shell, of which I can afford to lose. something that is only skin deep is quickly forgotten within the maelstrom, my bones absorbing the impact like the Earth absorbes the falling rain. everything else is long gone, swept into the distance, glad to be escaping from the hell which will soon be loose, the storm separates the sky. I stand still as possible, as still as a statue, as steady as the ground I stand upon. It is only the frame of my body left as my mind is elsewhere, trembling as the sky cracks and everything comes tumbling down.

Wave of Flies

So I was invited to see this new German film the wave at the MIFF today, not having any idea what it was going to be like, only going on a friend's recommendation. It was nearly sold out, and turned out to be a pretty amazing experience. Basic gist is a sort of cutting edge school in Berlin(?) is running this week long program to promote 'the virtues of democracy', where each student can sign up to a program of an extreme political idealism (autocracy and anarchy are the only two mentioned). The teacher of the classroom Herr Wenger sets up the class with himself as leader, and begins to give the class instructions such as 'strength through discipline'. The class soon evolves into a movement called 'The Wave', and begins to take on a life of its own. Wenger is shocked as he begins to see the power he weilds, and how extreme The Wave becomes as students are so motivated as to enforce their beliefs onto others and discriminate those who are not members. It all culminates in a confronting climax, which made me question my own values. In Australia we have no fascist history, being one of the oldest democracies and rating as
one of the current most democratic nations. But what says fascism doesn't walk among us? It is the whole 'lord of the flies' scenario: Given the right circumstances, we would all commit disturbing and radical acts to defend beliefs we didn't know we possessed, just in the name of following the group, or following orders, or mainly just fear. This is why groups like the 3rd Reich and Khmer Rouge were able to exist, the mass brainwashing which occured was because an aspect of this absolute control, strict discipline and superiority of a group over everything else appeals to a part of all of us, not just a particular race or ethnic minority. I am unable to say I could not ever act in this way, dispite my knowledge of the topic.
Given the right ammount of fear people will commit to anything to protect themselves. Those who are most fearful are most dangerous, because of the lengths they are prepared to go to to alleviate that sickening feeling of fear. In the end it all comes down to survival of the fittest, and the fact that man is corrupt, and
humanity is the devil. In our position of rich nation in the western world we can frown upon nations which feed dictators, we can writhe in horror while we sit back and watch others commit genocide and ethnic cleansing, but to quote author Chuck Palahniuk: 'It is only once we have lost everything, that we are able to do anything.' I rate this movie highly for anyone who is prepared to confront themselves, and to have a real cinematic experience.

every night im gone

every night now I dream i'm somewhere else
in another city far away
or another version of the one right here
im not exactly sure
Im staying in hotel rooms in high rise buildings
on the 6th or 14th level
and the elevator is always unsafe
yet I never take the stairs
and im always trying to cross busy intersections
but never crossing at the traffic lights
I see people I know all the time
but they seem so far away and unfamiliar
and i'm always following, never leading
or trying to look for something
deep in an office complex or shopping centre
through tunnels and dark rooms
In a city I thought I knew so well
but everything has been altered and shifted
so now it is completely foreign
people are always so hostile
because I never really know where Im going
I catch trains to no particular location
because I never actually arrive
but I always wake up at the wrong time
just before I actually get there

brain dead

so nothing exciting has happened since school went back, just been getting up every morning and falling back into the old routine. Nothing at all has changed, nothing is new. School is exactly the same every day, with each day its subtle differences, but all these differences always the same ones reoccuring. I have done nothing productive, besides homework and daily routine tasks. There is nothing really to complain about, besides the usual bitching and moaning. The doldrums of my life has been reflected in the thrills of my dreams, each night having vivid and intense journeys, with complex urban landscapes, to beaches, to oceans and deserted islands, to strange figures, to alternate reality and versions of people I know, and even strange creatures. At least each night is exciting and unpredictable, when I could pretty much recite everything that will happen tomorrow. Motivation needs to come from within I guess, but when I look inside all I can find is the
same old burning questions, and no answers. Which makes me believe motivation needs to come from the outside world, but seeing as I cannot find it I am hoping it will come to me. But hope like that won't get me anywhere far. I guess im just stuck in the doldrums until high winds come